So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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