their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I need a burrito and a hug.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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