He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
