The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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