I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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