So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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