hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
