I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize