Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
