There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
