i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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