Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it