Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
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Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.