Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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