I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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