i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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