It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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