I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask