New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...