Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses