it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city