I want to have your abortion
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Come camping we have xanax and steaks