His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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