I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize