if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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