You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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