He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
