Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize