So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
