The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize