i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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