This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
