Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
