it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
