It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
