Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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