so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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