She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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