just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
