she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
