I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
