White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
