Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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