I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
please come you make the beer taste better
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
