D3 body, D1 cock
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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