The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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