Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
