Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
