Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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