Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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