i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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