is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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