i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
