its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
