shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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