So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
