only if we run a train.
done.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
