Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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(201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs

Replies (13) Good night (1078) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

Wtf?

(225): View more from Louisiana

Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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(225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm

Replies (32) Good night (2910) Bad night (456)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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(860): i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him. http://tfl.nu/6b9m

Replies (9) Good night (639) Bad night (2939) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

my vag is so smooth its legendary

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(949): my vag is so smooth its legendary http://tfl.nu/kijd

Replies (35) Good night (4602) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.

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(612): I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical. http://tfl.nu/d9c8

Replies (29) Good night (11038) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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(585): Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either. http://tfl.nu/3i4x

Replies (12) Good night (7674) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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(303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo

Replies (15) Good night (5276) Bad night (962)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?

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(973): Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/t0sq

Replies (17) Good night (3332) Bad night (1728) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

And to think..we used to do everything sober...

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(724): And to think..we used to do everything sober... http://tfl.nu/tbey

Replies (7) Good night (4660) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.

(443): View more from Maryland

YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?

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(410): So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed. (443): YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT? http://tfl.nu/cgqa

Replies (13) Good night (4103) Bad night (540)
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(903): View more from Texas

All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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(903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0

Replies (3) Good night (2009) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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(503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc

Replies (13) Good night (1144) Bad night (496)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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(202): Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation. http://tfl.nu/g1cn

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(850): View more from Florida

She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING

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(850): She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING http://tfl.nu/6jxf

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(613): View more from Ontario

but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

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(613): but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost http://tfl.nu/7k22

Replies (2) Good night (349) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt

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