i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.