So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA