I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
